FexAsch

FUCKING FINALLY AM I RIGHT--
.......
I mean.
HI GUYS 💖💖💖 just when I thought I'd never see this site again two little shits (who I love so much tho so shoutout to them) brainwashed me into coming back to DeviantArt. AND SO HERE I FUCKING AM.

so many things changed and happened while was away and don't worry, I'll tell ya everything you need to know to catch up.
also, I'm very sorry I've been away for so so long. I didn't feel like the connection between me and this site was as strong as once was and I didn't really see the purpose of me staying here, also because I've been through a very long, very stressful and very frustrating art block that almost made me reconsider my entire dreams and resolutions.
BUT NOT TO WORRY! my artistic senses are back and stronger than ever so I'll make up for my long disappearance! and I have so many things to update, but I'll do it as soon as I have a computer in my hands (I just downloaded the app and need to figure it out first). give me some time and I'll be fully active again.

anyways, it feels... weird to be back, but in a good way of course 💖

apparently the only way to bring me back from the dead is by summoniNG ME VIA TAGS AND THIS LIL SHIT WHO I LOVE SO MUCH, PrinceUseless, KNOWS IT WAY TOO WELL AND ASHCSSFGIGHNVWPFJDHBWJKIFWUEVJ-- I just felt the call of the tag and couldn't hold back.

The 13 Rules (I LOVE THIS NUMBER)

1.- You have to post these rules
2.- Each person has to share 13 things about them
3.- Answer the 13 questions asked to you and invent 13 questions the people you tag will have to answer 
4.- Choose 13 people
5.- Go to their page to inform them they are tagged
6.- Not something like "you are tagged if you read that" 
7.- You have to legitimately tag 13 people.
8.- You can't say that you don't do tags.
9.- Tag-backs are ALLOWED
10.-YOU MUST MAKE A JOURNAL ENTRY. NO COMMENTS. Unless you're commenting about the actual entry.
11.- You have to finish this within a week. If not; you'll have to do whatever the creator tells you to. Art, rp, etc.
12.- Be creative with the title. No "I've Got Tagged" things.
13.- Cussing is ALLOWED

probably not gonna give a single fuck about rules number 7 and 8 but whatever, LET'S BEGIN!!

FACTS:
1) I love to stay awake until very late at night, watching videos or drawing or playing videogames;
2) but I also love sleeping and would have no problems sleeing all day long;
3) I daydream. A LOT. like, 85% of a single day of my life is made of daydreaming about many different things;
4) there are times where I get very dysphoric about my gender and it scares me deeply: I feel kind of alright in my body and I don't mind being called a girl, but...I don't know, I just don't feel like I fully belong to the female gender. on the other hand, I don't feel like belonging to the male gender either. at the end of the day, I don't really know "what" I am and although I'd like to use gender neutral pronouns to refer to me (they/them/their) I can't because of my fucking native language. last time this crisis kicked in, it really did kick in hard and I felt awful all night long;
5) I USE SARCASM A LOT AND MY FAVORITE THING IS WHEN PEOPLE DON'T GET IT SO I CAN GO ON AS MUCH AS I WANT;   
6) but I'm also a sweetheart and will worry extremely if someone gets hurt or whatnot;
7) one of the things I love about myself is my hair <3 so floofy;
8) I'm very patient but can get pissed off easily if annoyed;
9) although the past and the present don't bother me so much, I'm really scared about the future. think it's normal, but still;
10) therefore I'm also really really scared of getting old;
11) speaking of fears, needles are one of my biggest fears EVER;
12) I really like tattoos and I have already put down a list of the tattoos I'm planning to get someday;
13) I'M A HUGE NERD AND FAN OF MANY THINGS. ALSO, I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR ELVES AND MEDIEVAL AUs.

QUESTIONS:
1- Hi lovely people! Do you like pokemanz?
I FREAKING LOVE POKEMANZZZZ!

2- If yes, who is your favourite(s) pokemon(s)? If not, wich is your favourite season?
I think my favourite are Meowth, Fennekin, Arcanine and Onyx.

3- Television, Streaming or Cinema? and Why?
streaming! because I can have all the things I want to see whenever I want and I could also easily download them on my computer uwu

4- Your first OTP? (if you haven't, who is you fav couple between you OC?)
my first otp ever were Tullio and Miguel from "Road to El Dorado" and I still ship them like there's no tomorrow <3 <3

5- Do you have any pet?
YAS I DO I HAVE TWO LAZY FAT CATS THAT I LOVE SO MUCH--

6- If you watch Steven Universe, do you have a gemsona or a OC? (Can you show my please?)
I have both! Amber is my gemsona and she looks like this: (you also drew her, you dork ). I'm also designing an OC, Obsidian, who I still have to make a fll ref sheet of uwu she's the queen of bitches tho.

7- Do you like horror movies? Please, recommend me one
I LOVE horror movies and I'd recommend you to watch the Saw saga (even if I don't think it's really a horror, it's more of a slightly splatter movie but damn I love the traps!)

8- You have die your hair?
I wish I could D: my hair doesn't allow me to dye it and I have no idea why..

9- Favourite color?
BLACK, BLUE, PURPLE AND NEON COLOURS!!

10- Seaside or mountains? Why?
both but I like the mountains more because I like the fresh air you breathe there aand because I can be closer to nautre <3

11- Do you like your state?
eeeeeehhhh, it's complicated.

12- Cats or dogs?
WHY NOT BOTH??

13- Your zodiacal sign? Do you like that?
I'm a chubby little Leo and I love that <3





sajhahgfbwkfjwhnefkkdljaljcnioroiwefjaoeòfjweohgowioeofjd--

heya lovelies!

hope y'all had the best new year's eve ever ('cuz i sure did ) and your school started at its best too, for those who are still attending school.
i should have started again yeaterday but i've been feeling sick since the 6th, so no school for me :c and this being my last year of high school, i feel a little fucked. didn't want to lose any lessons of this last months but oh well. Tomorrow i'll go see my doctor and we'll see what he tells me to do. by what some medical books i have in my house say, i think i have bronchitis. but it was late when i read them and my head was on another planet, so who knows what i read XD

aside from this, other things happened. very good ones, such as spending the last days of 2014 and the first ones of 2015 with my boyfriend and his friends (who i absolutely adore XD they're crazy, i like that ) buuuuut also not so very good things. like this dickhead person going around talking nonsense shit about me and him.
they just have to hope that i won't lay my hands on them, or their neck will snap.

ANYWAY.
mom says i shouldn't get upset and go back to rest a bit. sounds like a perfect plan to me.
.......
that is, if this fucking sore throat allows me to.

it's 8 pm here where i live and i've just realized that i didn't write or draw any Christmas related stuff yet.

i kinda feel like a bad person. i'm the new grinch.

aaaaanyway I WISH YOU THE MERRIEST CHRITMAS EVER YOU PAESANTS AND MAY 2015 BE A BETTER YEAR FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!!!!!   


i honestly can't wait for the 30th to come, tho.
cuz
y'know
i'm gonna go at my bbu's place BD

i'm so terrible. i've had this account for -dunno- pretty long and i still haven't done ANYTHING with it except fave some stuff.

ugh.

anyway, i'm so sorry i haven't uploaded absolutely anything but my scanner decided to be a bitch and die definetly and my camera and phone are dumb enough to not let me put the pics on my pc and i don't know why. technology just hates me

this been told, i have some more serious stuff i want to talk about.
if some of you watch my old account then maybe you know i had the biggest crush on....some person, no? well, that person CASUALLY HAPPENS TO BE this dork PrinceUseless uvu
today it's our first official and public /?/ month together and i've been the happiest person ever since the day we took our courage in our hands and confessed our feelings to each other 'till now if i'm being this dokidokikawaiidesu /??/ it's HIS fault, not mine. his. you're a bad boy, patootie dork. eugh.
back to the serious stuff. this is a very big change in my life, or at least in its romantic aspect; i've been in two "relationships" before but eh, they didn't go that well. nor did they last long, for what matters. those both really hurt me and because of those experiences i was afraid of falling for someone again: i was afraid of being rejected, as it's normal to be, but most of all i was afraid of being abandoned. my two ex partners left me either for someone else of because what they felt wasn't love as in a romantic way and they didn't want to lose me as a friend (i still have to understand this, truth be told). i was TERRIFIED this could all repeat and i didn't know what to do.
thank goodness i was wrong.
PrinceUseless and i have been really good friends, best friends, for something like four, five years or so and we've never had a single fight in all these years; we've always been there for each other and we give affection and support one another. so it's been really dumb of me to be scared, i guess, uh? i'm such a big anxious person, goddamn-

but as much as i'm happy of our new adventure together, someone else wasn't. in fact a person i was good friends with didn't take it too well for all a list of reasons, first of all the fact that we didn't tell them right away....when we didn't tell ANYONE right away that we were in a relationship. we wanted to wait before making it public.
i don't want to tell all the reasons because i don't find it fair but i've been hurt really bad for their reaction. i thought my friends would have been happy to know i've finally found my other half? some of them are, that is.
as much as it sounds silly and inappropriate, i'm still hurt very much and angry too. this person (who i will not mention for privacy issues, i'm not that much of a bitch) stopped talking to me a month ago because they "needed time to get used to this new situation" and maybe THIS is what angers me the most. I should be the one who's mad at the other, I should be offended by their words and I should be the one who's hurt. maybe it "wasn't fair" to keep it all hidden but i honestly think it wouldn't have made the difference even if we told them before: i'm quite sure the reaction would have been the same, sadly.
dear PERSON,
i know you're gonna read this journal. it's useless to hide or deny. just know that i'm very disappointed by your reaction and i don't find it mature to push me and my relationship away. you're 18, your a smart person and i really don't think we deserved this all. not me nor my boyfriend. your words and your temperament hurt the both of us and if before we were "cold", keep in mind that from now on we'll be ice-cold.

i never wanted to be so cruel and most surely everyone will think i'm the bitch, that i'm overreacting, but what's to be said needs to be said.


=stay cool, 'possums =